Of course, this also prevents me from feeling lonely, or rested, for that matter. But I'm OK with this, as I'd much rather feel nothing than a gnawing pain from a lack of fulfillment of Maslow's third tier.
Perhaps it would help you follow my flow of consciousness if I were to enlighten you:
On Mondays and Wednesdays, I arrive at uni at around 0730 hours, and begin instructional lectures at 0800 hours. With 0015 hour intervals between classes (slightly enough time to go to the WC and squeeze into the next lecture hall), I continue until 1345 hours. On Mondays, I work as a writing tutor at 1400 hours. Usually on Wednesdays, I'm also in the writing centre, volunteering to take on extra sessions at no cost. However, with the starting up of clubs again for the term, that will soon cease. My shift officially ends at 1600 hours, and I usually leave around 1610 hours to 1615 hours. From there, I have two hours to do whatever, which I usually spend eating for the first time that day. At 1800 hours, students gather for the theatre rehearsals, which run until roughly 2200 hours to no later than 2230 hours. Once rehearsals are completed, I make my one hour ten minute commute home.
On Tuesdays and Thursdays, I arrive at uni around 0730 hours as well. (I find that a consistent schedule prevents abnormalities in the circadian cycle.) My first lecture begins at 0930 hours, thus I spend the first two hours at uni either preparing for my classes of the day, or getting caught up with e-mails to my professors. At 1045 hours when my first lecture dismisses, I sprint to work at the tutoring centre to work from 1100 hours to 1300 hours. (Technically, I only work on Tuesdays, but I volunteer on Thursdays much like I do on Wednesdays.) If I find pleasure in my performance that day, I reward myself with lunch. Either way, I will spend whatever little time before my 1400 hour lecture reviewing my notes and homework (read: I hastily do my foreign language homework 0010 hours before lectures begin). After, I dash across campus for my last lecture, which will release at 1645 hours. I enjoy dinner with friends, and depart for rehearsals, again leaving some time between 2205 hours and 2230 hours for my home.
When I am not in class, I discuss relevant issues with my professors, feebly attempt to increase my professional network, and work on club projects. I preside over the uni's Science club, which takes a vast amount of free time to co-ordinate. Our current problem is a defective Secretary, who will be replaced at the next club meeting. Other clubs (Psychology/Sociology, etc) sadly usually only are graced with my presence, and not my dedicated work. The student body's newspaper is starting up again, which will require my time to miss lectures to cover events that only happen to occur in conflict with my schedule (read: I'm either working or in class at 1400 hours, when events usually occur). Because I attend a small uni, most of my professors are understanding and do not mind my missing too many lectures to cover the events as long as I keep up with the work. Now, since I receive e-mails from the CAB's advisor (Campus Activity Board), the Director of Student Activities, I suppose myself to officially be a part of this club, instead of just a volunteer. What this means is that I skip lectures to work events for CAB, then write up a report of the event when it is done.
I have not heard from the Welcome Centre, where I occasionally volunteer as a tour guide for local high schools and other orientation-type events. I can only assume that they are hastily preparing for the next orientation, before which they will ring me asking for my assistance once more, which in dubiously I will give.
But hey, that's just my regular week in a nutshell. I happen to love it because it fits my personality and prevents me from focusing on the negative in my life. True, it would be nice to have more of a social life than just knowing maybe 4-5% of the entire student population, and two or three departments' worth of professors, but I'm content with the once-in-a-blue-moon type trips that I and friends make. This past Thursday we decided to blow off work to go to a local playground. Quite enjoyable, but not all the time.
Oh, I forgot to mention two things: firstly (and most important), extra volunteer events are popping up on the uni's calendar. A junior high school's science competition will be hosted by the uni at the end of February. Yours truly will be volunteering for this, as well. Secondly, one of the young tutors that I work with believes (along with her mum) that I "do too much" and 'blah-blah-blah' too much stress. So, she is attempting to start a petition to make me drop something off of my schedule. I mean, just because I'm deluding myself into thinking that I can handle the workload doesn't mean that I'm harming anyone else. Why does she see need to do this? It's a shame, too, because were it not for that I would be much more inclined to view her as quite attractive. (Heheh, like I have time for anything/anyone else in my life at the moment.)
I further find this a disappointment because there is that deeper human desire to grow, to share, to be with someone. No amount of busyness, "noise," or anything else will be able to fully distract from that need. This is most irritating in that I have never truly learned how to develop a friendship, yet it is one of the things for which I strive the hardest, particularly for a friendship with a member of the opposite gender (opposite sex as well, preferably. The difference is quickly explained here.). There were two young ladies that I met last semester, with whom I've attempted to build a descent relation. This has been done rather haphazardly, and has met with the expected results for such efforts. As well, each in turn was taught of my romantic inclinations toward each of themselves, respectively. Both of them rejected me, which is fine, as I soon forgot because both young ladies introduced me, either directly or indirectly, to a young lady friend of theirs. The older of the two young ladies that I met (referred to as "A," for she came first chronologically, the other is "B") directly introduced me to one of her best friends ("C"), who was treated as A and B was soon reproduced A's choices. This is all well and good, as I am attempting to sever ties with A and C as much as possible.
This leaves the friend of B, a girl known as "D." D was introduced indirectly to me by B, and B and D have since suffered an estrangement of their friendship. Regardless of the circumstances, B seems to hold no expressed opinion on my preferred inclinations toward D (indeed, it would be nigh impossible for B to since I have never told her). D's profile on a social networking site indicates that she is interested in searching for friendship and "dating" (however it is defined in this day and age). There is a two year difference in our ages, which is the socially accepted limit for our age group. In private message conversations, we seem to get along decently well, and she has expressed interest in viewing a moving picture show that I own. Were this somehow to work out for my benefit (and her's as well, hopefully), I will be joyed and call this the best attempt at a romantic relationship that I have had in nigh four years. Sadly, I do not see at the moment this progressing far beyond a beginning stage.
I must find a way to make this fragile acquaintance relationship between D and myself grow stronger, deeper, and better. I am nauseated of my failures, and I will find a way to prevent them in the future.
