It has been a while since I have given you any update. This is my plan for right now.
I forget if I have told you that I have begun my studies at university. If I have not, I do so now. Sure, it is a small, local community college, but it is a beginning. This past Fall semester has ended without too much worry. A long term group project for English Composition II ended in frustration and in pieces. The rest of my semester was filled with a short overload (19 credit hours, as opposed to the standard 15-16 credit hour load). I am dubious in my Spanish abilities, but nonetheless I forge ahead.
I seem to have found a few niches in which to place myself. Volunteer work with the Office of Student Activities and CAB (Campus Activity Board) have helped me to start off the semester with a handful of friends, as well as a crush on an attractive young lady. From there I have made a position as a staff writer on the student newspaper. I couple this with membership in my campus's Psychology/Sociology and Science clubs, holding the president's office in the latter. Around October, I became an Academic Mentor through a school contest held for the local secondary schools, where I met several new interesting students. Lastly, I found a way to become a tour guide at the school while working as an assistant stage manager in the theatre department.
This next semester should be fun, especially considering that I will be increasing my class overload from 19 to 21 credit hours. I also plan to continue my extracurricular work, and I begin as a writing tutor at my uni.
Over the holiday, though, it would be expected that I relax and take some time off. This, unfortunately, is only a good plan. While I have made plans to rest and read Wicked, I have greater need to complete my certification from the National Institutes of Health for Human Subjects Testing in order to propose an experiment that I would like to run in conjunction with my Introduction to Applied Psychology next semester. As with during the academic year, I shall have need to remind myself to get adequate sleep and nourishment.
12 December 2009
04 October 2009
Bittersweet Freedom
Tonight, all sections of the store were short staffed. This is not abnormal. Approximately 7.5 hours into the evening shift, a Self-Service/Drive-Through supervisor/crew leader asked who was responsible for removing the trash tonight. I told her, in not so many words and in a "spirited" way, that no one was on that position tonight, and that she should do it herself.
This, in following with the lazy American tradition, did not sit well with her. Naturally, she went to her superior, the manager on duty (MOD) that night. Summarizing our private conversation, I was reminded that my employment was considered "at-will," as is every other employee's. I was reminded as well that this was the second time I was to be disciplined for failure to show proper respect to co-workers, and was told to leave early.
Reviewing the events of the night, I am free to leave at any time, with or without reason. I do not particularly like or otherwise enjoy my job. Logically, it follows that I ask myself why I continue to work at this establishment? Perhaps I shall take my manager's implied advice and terminate my employment. I shall begin to search for a more desirable place at which to volunteer my time for pieces of paper with no value compared to the currency of other countries.
This, in following with the lazy American tradition, did not sit well with her. Naturally, she went to her superior, the manager on duty (MOD) that night. Summarizing our private conversation, I was reminded that my employment was considered "at-will," as is every other employee's. I was reminded as well that this was the second time I was to be disciplined for failure to show proper respect to co-workers, and was told to leave early.
Reviewing the events of the night, I am free to leave at any time, with or without reason. I do not particularly like or otherwise enjoy my job. Logically, it follows that I ask myself why I continue to work at this establishment? Perhaps I shall take my manager's implied advice and terminate my employment. I shall begin to search for a more desirable place at which to volunteer my time for pieces of paper with no value compared to the currency of other countries.
19 April 2009
Symbolic Despair
The words that you are reading are not real. They are a grouping of symbols that are being displayed on the monitor of your computer. The symbols have absolutely no meaning. If I were to type "ksoans" you would derive nothing from that. The symbols are a way for people to communicate their meanings without using telepathy.
Nonetheless, people, specifically Americans, seem to place an almost iconic, deistic importance to the symbols. "Rialeapinonioht" means absolutely nothing to my readers. And, indeed, without taking the time to decipher it or look for anagrams, I find no meaning either. Because the symbols are not placed in an acceptable sequence to form a coherent idea rooted in the English derivative of the Latin language.
"Rialeapinonioht" is a mixed up jumble of letters from the phrase "in a relationship." Now that the symbols have been placed into proper juxtaposition, readers may begin to understand the context and the meaning behind the symbols. But the fact remains that they are still symbols.
In a personal light, when I see the phrase on a friend's profile, I begin to feel nauseous. Literally. I feel physically ill when I see those words. This was especially the case today when I saw the phrase on a new friend's profile, mostly because I find that I have a strong attraction to her. Usually, the symptoms subside within a few minutes. This time they stayed with me for close to ten to fifteen minutes. Obviously, I was upset by this.
My id is selfish, rude, and quite mean. I want her. Not to have sexual relations with her. If I were to marry her, then that would be an option. But as for now, I want to get to know her, to understand her ways, and to have her reciprocate my feelings toward her. My ego tells me that it will not happen. My ego is masochistic. He tells me that the symbols I read are real and that there is no use in trying to change my understand of that part of reality. My superego has no frame of reference because movies skew reality, and these are topics that usually have no definitive answer.
I really wish that there is a way for me to sort this sort of issue out before my id beats my ego into a bloody pulp. Suggestions are quite welcome.
Nonetheless, people, specifically Americans, seem to place an almost iconic, deistic importance to the symbols. "Rialeapinonioht" means absolutely nothing to my readers. And, indeed, without taking the time to decipher it or look for anagrams, I find no meaning either. Because the symbols are not placed in an acceptable sequence to form a coherent idea rooted in the English derivative of the Latin language.
"Rialeapinonioht" is a mixed up jumble of letters from the phrase "in a relationship." Now that the symbols have been placed into proper juxtaposition, readers may begin to understand the context and the meaning behind the symbols. But the fact remains that they are still symbols.
In a personal light, when I see the phrase on a friend's profile, I begin to feel nauseous. Literally. I feel physically ill when I see those words. This was especially the case today when I saw the phrase on a new friend's profile, mostly because I find that I have a strong attraction to her. Usually, the symptoms subside within a few minutes. This time they stayed with me for close to ten to fifteen minutes. Obviously, I was upset by this.
My id is selfish, rude, and quite mean. I want her. Not to have sexual relations with her. If I were to marry her, then that would be an option. But as for now, I want to get to know her, to understand her ways, and to have her reciprocate my feelings toward her. My ego tells me that it will not happen. My ego is masochistic. He tells me that the symbols I read are real and that there is no use in trying to change my understand of that part of reality. My superego has no frame of reference because movies skew reality, and these are topics that usually have no definitive answer.
I really wish that there is a way for me to sort this sort of issue out before my id beats my ego into a bloody pulp. Suggestions are quite welcome.
Freudian Dreams
This morning, I woke up from a dream. Now, I am rather pleased about the first part in and of itself. Waking up means that I am not dead....which is usually good. Dreams imply that I have a healthy sleep cycle.
Anyway, the dream was one of the strange ones that people tend to remember because it had a strong personal connection and it's oddity. Back in secondary school, I was friends with two girls, both of whom where incredibly attractive. Inevitably, I liked both of them. Of course, part of that was because I am a skirt-chaser. Like all dreams, last night's did not seem to have much sense of chronological order or rational to it. Anyway, the two girls and I ended up in Hawaii or a similar environment, playing near an island in crystal clear blue water. The perfect situation, one would think. After having spent year twelve with both of them, going on field trips and sharing in plenty of memories with both of them, I felt rather close to both (and still do, to be quite honest). At some point in the dream, I went up to each of them individually and told them that I loved them. They reciprocated.
Somehow, one of them drown. I felt incredibly sad, but I enjoyed my time with the other girl, while we both mourned the loss of our friend. The only positive thing that I could think of was that now I had no conflicts in my subconscious. When I woke, I knew that I was in love with both of them, and that I had no answers on how to proceed, because I also have an intense crush on a young lady from my post-secondary institution. I think back to my Psychology class, wondering what it is that Freud would tell me. That I love the girl in my dream that did not perish, and the other two are not so important to me? Or that I was more in love with the girl that is "deceased" in my dream, therefore meaning that my love life is over?
I have no answers, and am thus saddened.
11 April 2009
New Updates
Salutations to my readers, whomever you might be.
I send customary greetings for the past holidays since I last wrote and currently wish you a happy and kosher Passover.
And now onto business: Several changes in my life have occurred. Firstly, for those of you that know I work in the restaurant business, I have finally made it past two and a half years in service. I currently have accumulated two years and eight months with my company. The only positive thing that I have received from my job (apart from the required payment) is a $1000 scholarship. Unfortunately for me, I have neither had the joy of receiving a bonus nor a promotion, and have thus decided that if my management does not turn from the current course, I will give them another four months of service before I resign. I do not have any ideas of what I will do after this, for the economy is difficult, and I doubt that I currently have the resources or qualifications to compete with other applicants from the public and private corporate sectors, as well as the new university graduates. Oh well. A lesson in macroeconomics, I suppose.
Secondly, I have begun the next part of my scholastic endeavours. I have enrolled myself in a local community college. Thus far in the semester, I am doing well enough. But if I were to focus my efforts on completing the assigned tasks instead of doing nothing, I would do better. It would also benefit me to study for tests.
But that is irrelevant (in my reality). For, as always, I have met a new object of my affections.
She is a member of one of the extracurricular clubs that I am a member of. She is quite pretty, and smart. I have found out in the past two or three days that she is a high school senior in the ACCELL Program (duel enrollment, I assume). This surprises me, for I had always thought that she was a first year college student as myself. Perhaps these are some of the reasons that I find so much disappointment in life. But then again, experts cite that most relationships are between an older man and a younger lady....Perhaps there is hope after all. Alas, blondes are a vice of mine.
Side note: for those who know her, I have apologized to Kuro Ookami. We even began establishing an acquaintanceship. We met for a coffee with her boyfriend and Mike near her house. Sadly, her parents knew nothing of this, and when they found out they punished all of us by cutting communications between myself and her, her and Mike (or at least, reduced communications), and I am sure that her boyfriend simply felt guilt. But the thing of note is that she is no longer angry with myself.
I have obtained funding for personal business cards. While they are simply for jest (my job is not one that needs business cards, after all), I have given them out at times. I have enjoyed the sensation, since I perceive having business cards to be one of the positive traits of being a good business man. If my readers cross my path, and it strikes your fancy, do not hesitate to ask for a card. I have plenty.
And despite this, one of my managers has forbidden me to pass them out because it makes people "wonder if [I] am O.K." Unfortunately for her, I cannot comply because that infringes on my freedom of speech. I shall, naturally, remove all traces of the restaurant from my cards before handing them out again, but handing out business cards falls under my freedom of speech, does it not?
The time is currently 0948 Zulu. I have not obtained total subconsciousness since 1300 Zulu yesterday. My body must regenerate.
I bid all beneficial tidings until our next meeting.
I send customary greetings for the past holidays since I last wrote and currently wish you a happy and kosher Passover.
And now onto business: Several changes in my life have occurred. Firstly, for those of you that know I work in the restaurant business, I have finally made it past two and a half years in service. I currently have accumulated two years and eight months with my company. The only positive thing that I have received from my job (apart from the required payment) is a $1000 scholarship. Unfortunately for me, I have neither had the joy of receiving a bonus nor a promotion, and have thus decided that if my management does not turn from the current course, I will give them another four months of service before I resign. I do not have any ideas of what I will do after this, for the economy is difficult, and I doubt that I currently have the resources or qualifications to compete with other applicants from the public and private corporate sectors, as well as the new university graduates. Oh well. A lesson in macroeconomics, I suppose.
Secondly, I have begun the next part of my scholastic endeavours. I have enrolled myself in a local community college. Thus far in the semester, I am doing well enough. But if I were to focus my efforts on completing the assigned tasks instead of doing nothing, I would do better. It would also benefit me to study for tests.
But that is irrelevant (in my reality). For, as always, I have met a new object of my affections.
She is a member of one of the extracurricular clubs that I am a member of. She is quite pretty, and smart. I have found out in the past two or three days that she is a high school senior in the ACCELL Program (duel enrollment, I assume). This surprises me, for I had always thought that she was a first year college student as myself. Perhaps these are some of the reasons that I find so much disappointment in life. But then again, experts cite that most relationships are between an older man and a younger lady....Perhaps there is hope after all. Alas, blondes are a vice of mine.
Side note: for those who know her, I have apologized to Kuro Ookami. We even began establishing an acquaintanceship. We met for a coffee with her boyfriend and Mike near her house. Sadly, her parents knew nothing of this, and when they found out they punished all of us by cutting communications between myself and her, her and Mike (or at least, reduced communications), and I am sure that her boyfriend simply felt guilt. But the thing of note is that she is no longer angry with myself.
I have obtained funding for personal business cards. While they are simply for jest (my job is not one that needs business cards, after all), I have given them out at times. I have enjoyed the sensation, since I perceive having business cards to be one of the positive traits of being a good business man. If my readers cross my path, and it strikes your fancy, do not hesitate to ask for a card. I have plenty.
And despite this, one of my managers has forbidden me to pass them out because it makes people "wonder if [I] am O.K." Unfortunately for her, I cannot comply because that infringes on my freedom of speech. I shall, naturally, remove all traces of the restaurant from my cards before handing them out again, but handing out business cards falls under my freedom of speech, does it not?
The time is currently 0948 Zulu. I have not obtained total subconsciousness since 1300 Zulu yesterday. My body must regenerate.
I bid all beneficial tidings until our next meeting.
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