It is part of the contemporary knowledge base that everything changes, and that only death (and taxes) is (are) certain. It is for this reason that I announce to my readers something that will make reading my blog somewhat easier: I will begin using first names. Assuming that you know me, you know that I very much enjoy my privacy, and wish to extend that kindness to others. That is why I have tried to not use identifying marks before this. However, when I go back and read old posts, even I have a difficult time keeping track. I believe that using first names will help alleviate this.
And on with the post:
Many, if not all of you, who know me knew that I was in a relationship with a wonderful girl named Laura. As far as I know, Laura and I were happy together for a full year and a half. Technically speaking, it was the second relationship for both of us, but the first one that we actually cared about the other person and felt ourselves grow as people. It also lasted more than a couple of months. We met on a science club field trip, and started going out less than a week later. Honestly, it was a pretty whirlwind-like relationship, and I was OK with that. At the end of the summer term, I graduated with my Associates Degree, and matriculated to another school in the University System. This did not please Laura. And the last few months of our relationship, we hadn't spend much time together, if any, because of work schedules and school. This time gave us ample opportunity to reflect on our relationship, and we concluded that things were not working out quite as we had hoped.
But, our 1.5 year anniversary was coming up on Sunday, and I was free. I knew that we were supposed to "talk" next chance we got, but I figured that we could at least enjoy the anniversary while we could. I was incorrect. We had our discussion that day, and we entered the ambiguous land of "We don't really know what our relationship status is." A week later, I still have no idea if we are "taking a break," "in an open relationship" while we work on improving our character glitches to improve our relationship, or if we've actually broken up. As far as I can tell, all of the signs are pointing toward the latter....
I honestly do love Laura, but I know that I'm not the best option for her. That doesn't mean that I'm not envious when I hear that she has met another guy, but it means that I am happy for her in whatever way I can be, and I choose to support her in whatever ways that I can if that's what she wants from me. Much like this post, I cannot say that we had a bad relationship. We even broke it off amiably. This relationship has taught me a lot, and I hope that she has learned as well. I do want her to be happy.
And so we move forward with our lives. Laura and I decided to make a list of the things that we feel we need in a partner. Instead of a whirlwind romance like before, we shall take it slow the next time and get to know the other person a little bit better than their name and academic major.
I find that I've started to spend more time with my friends. This is a positive change. I've started to work out some/run again. That is just as difficult for me as it was back in high school, but I managed to run 1.3 miles in less than a quarter hour, so I see this as an improvement. Life will get much better soon. I believe this. I'm determined to make it so.
Just for a humorous parting shot:
http://xkcd.com/1030/
22 October 2012
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