Can Fates Change?

It was a normal Tuesday, or as normal as my days are. Going to school with people of a different religious background is quite a challenge. Either way, I met yet another girl. The unusual thing is that she is also displaying a fancy for me as well.

We have second block together. It was not until about three weeks ago that one of my teachers suggested that I get to know her better. I chose to do so by beginning to sit next to her in class. This, thus far, has worked quite well. It has evolved to the point that when we are on the same campus, we spend every available moment together.

The Tuesday was unique in that the school had an ACT preparation class (primarily for the Juniors) lasting from our advisory time after first block through second, and ending at lunch. I, being a Senior, could not and did not attend. Instead, I went to my second block class as normal, only missing the newest person in my abnormal life. Class ended and I packed up my things preparing for the afternoon repast. It was obvious that the ACT preparation class had let out early, due to the fact that she was standing at the door to our second block classroom, waiting for me. We did not exchange salutations, nor have we ever. We have never seen a need for them. As I held the door open to let out the torrent of students eager to receive their meals, I explained to her what she had missed in class that day. As the doorway cleared, I began to make my way out of the room, with her, to our usual spot to dine together. I thoroughly enjoyed the mealtime with her, as I always do.

As I rode the school's transportation to my local campus to get in my car, I thought back on the day, highlighting our time together. I came to remember that she had come all the way across the school for me. Specifically for me, and only me. Never before has anyone shown enough care towards me to do that. Never. As I adjust from eating on my own, away from the others and happily enjoying my own little world to eating with another human being, I will always think back to that Tuesday, remembering how she came. It is an odd feeling, but I am adjusting to it favourably.

I AM NOT A TRASH RECEPTICLE!!!

To that one manager at my job,

I am not a trash bin. Do not place your used candy wrappers, scrap paper, and the like in my shirt pocket. That is not what it is for. I use it to hold pens and my tips for the night. You may ask me to throw away your garbage for you, for I have no problems with that. Just do not make me the trash can.

Sincerely,
One pissed-off employee of yours.

I am very confused....

My life just is not where it needs to be. It is hard for me to understand what I am supposed to do.









My thoughts on many girls have befudled me for many an age now, and it does not look like these thoughts will soon subside and cease troubling my subconscious. Who am I kidding? Life is nothing like what we think it is. Not even the reasonable, logical side to our thought processes can always predict what actual humans will do. These random, unpredictable actions scare me. I have chosen to reveal myself to a girl that I had a crush on. Unfortuneately, I was not affored the honour of being able to tell her to her face, and thus had to resort to the rather impersonal medium of Facebook. It was also unfortunate that she has turned me down.







The list of females seems always a steady list, with very little fluctuation in numbers. The names change every so often, but the numbers don't. I tend to think of it in a negative light when I actually begin to consider the girls that are proposed to me by facultry and staff of my school.








Neither am I sure of my physical health anymore. My bones begin to creak and pop more and more often as I transfer from sitting or squatting to standing. I feel tired everyday, and I do not have as much energy as I once had. I often wonder what I should do with myself. There just does not seem to be any energy left in these weary bones.





My job also seems to have lost its charm for me. Lately, I seem to have messed up more and more with my co-workers. They neither appreciate, nor seem to look forward to my sardonic references. However, this is not my personal problem, it is something that they have need to settle within themselves.


I have no idea what to do with my life right now. It seems that I am just going through the motions of living.