I am very confused....

My life just is not where it needs to be. It is hard for me to understand what I am supposed to do.









My thoughts on many girls have befudled me for many an age now, and it does not look like these thoughts will soon subside and cease troubling my subconscious. Who am I kidding? Life is nothing like what we think it is. Not even the reasonable, logical side to our thought processes can always predict what actual humans will do. These random, unpredictable actions scare me. I have chosen to reveal myself to a girl that I had a crush on. Unfortuneately, I was not affored the honour of being able to tell her to her face, and thus had to resort to the rather impersonal medium of Facebook. It was also unfortunate that she has turned me down.







The list of females seems always a steady list, with very little fluctuation in numbers. The names change every so often, but the numbers don't. I tend to think of it in a negative light when I actually begin to consider the girls that are proposed to me by facultry and staff of my school.








Neither am I sure of my physical health anymore. My bones begin to creak and pop more and more often as I transfer from sitting or squatting to standing. I feel tired everyday, and I do not have as much energy as I once had. I often wonder what I should do with myself. There just does not seem to be any energy left in these weary bones.





My job also seems to have lost its charm for me. Lately, I seem to have messed up more and more with my co-workers. They neither appreciate, nor seem to look forward to my sardonic references. However, this is not my personal problem, it is something that they have need to settle within themselves.


I have no idea what to do with my life right now. It seems that I am just going through the motions of living.