Symbolic Despair

The words that you are reading are not real. They are a grouping of symbols that are being displayed on the monitor of your computer. The symbols have absolutely no meaning. If I were to type "ksoans" you would derive nothing from that. The symbols are a way for people to communicate their meanings without using telepathy.

Nonetheless, people, specifically Americans, seem to place an almost iconic, deistic importance to the symbols. "Rialeapinonioht" means absolutely nothing to my readers. And, indeed, without taking the time to decipher it or look for anagrams, I find no meaning either. Because the symbols are not placed in an acceptable sequence to form a coherent idea rooted in the English derivative of the Latin language.

"Rialeapinonioht" is a mixed up jumble of letters from the phrase "in a relationship." Now that the symbols have been placed into proper juxtaposition, readers may begin to understand the context and the meaning behind the symbols. But the fact remains that they are still symbols.

In a personal light, when I see the phrase on a friend's profile, I begin to feel nauseous. Literally. I feel physically ill when I see those words. This was especially the case today when I saw the phrase on a new friend's profile, mostly because I find that I have a strong attraction to her. Usually, the symptoms subside within a few minutes. This time they stayed with me for close to ten to fifteen minutes. Obviously, I was upset by this.

My id is selfish, rude, and quite mean. I want her. Not to have sexual relations with her. If I were to marry her, then that would be an option. But as for now, I want to get to know her, to understand her ways, and to have her reciprocate my feelings toward her. My ego tells me that it will not happen. My ego is masochistic. He tells me that the symbols I read are real and that there is no use in trying to change my understand of that part of reality. My superego has no frame of reference because movies skew reality, and these are topics that usually have no definitive answer.

I really wish that there is a way for me to sort this sort of issue out before my id beats my ego into a bloody pulp. Suggestions are quite welcome.