28 August 2010

A New Environment Does Not Necessarily Mean A New Character

Apparently, I habitualize rapidly. I might even venture a guess and say that the entire process takes about seven continuous/consecutive days until I'm habitualized. But I've always been this way, albeit not always so rapidly.

As a young child, I easily grew bored in school, and with new objects in my possession. Now, I habitulize easily with people. Which really sucks, because I would often develop a new crush on a female, and within two weeks it was approximately half as intense as it was when it began.

Now, I fear that the same is true, but on a shorter time span. Already, in the three weeks of the new term, I've met a Swede (who has absolutely no interest in even giving me the time of day now, thank you very much); a fairly attractive redheaded art student who is cordial enough to give me the time of day, but won't go out of her way to speak to me; and a hyper-energetic dramatic arts major(ette). I'm most upset about the theatre major, but she is working through some sort of "proximity issue" where, with time, I hope that she is familiar enough with my presence that we can at least stand/sit near each other. She is an interesting girl, and if nothing else, she could possibly be a good friend of mine.

But then, part of this is probably one of those lessons where I am supposed to learn that mere infatuation cannot support any sort of relationship, only "flings" (as kids these days call them). So, as the infatuational urge wears down, it gives way to the opportunity to actually get to know her, learn about her, her likes and dislikes, and actually build up a relationship the way that it is supposed to be built.

6 comments:

EWIZABEFF. said...

Dude, stop looking for love. Let it come to you. You'll never find it if you look, you have to let it find you. Besides, being single is awesome. Enjoy it, man. Think of it like this, do you have to live with yourself the rest of you life, or live with some girl(s)?

You have to live with yourself. Make sure what you do not will be worth looking back at. "The best time to reflect is when you like the person looking back." You should always like the person looking back. Make sure that's how it is! (:

Karasu said...

To answer your question, I'd technically argue both....

And, while it is very true that I should learn to live comfortable with myself, the whole "being single is awesome" thing doesn't apply to me. Some people love it, sure, and bully for them. I can certainly respect that. But others, like myself, absolutely HATE being single. We often develop a chunk, if not a larger portion, of our self-worth from our positive relationships with others.

And, if you want to be scientifically correct about it, even psychologists will tell you that humans have a drive which compells them to find a significant other.
If you are who I think you are, then aren't you also in a relationship? Might I ask why, if "being single is awesome," then why would you give that up for some relationship?

EWIZABEFF. said...

Just voicing my opinion, sir. No need to debate. I just want you to be confident and happy in and with yourself and life. You've been a good friend to me and I'd just like to do that same for you. (:

Karasu said...

Ah. Then I appreciate the gesture. Unfortunately, I do not quite yet have the wisdom that you do.

It also comes as a surprise to me that I've been a good friend. I've only seen myself as mediocre at best to you (for which I am sorry, by the way). At the very least, I don't recall getting you out of some existential crisis...
And just by being there, you've been a much better friend to me than I've ever deserved. Thank you.

EWIZABEFF. said...

You don't have to get someone out of a crisis to be a good friend, sir.

Karasu said...

You make an excellent point.